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Principles Of The Compassionate
Friends For Bereaved Parents
 TCF
offers friendship and understanding to bereaved parents. We have
learned that the death of our child has caused a pain that can best be
understood fully by another bereaved parent. Knowing that all need love and
support, we reach out as our own grief subsides to those who still feel
alone and abandoned.
TCF believes that bereaved parents can help each
other toward a positive resolution of their grief. We understand that
each parent must find his or her own way through grief. We know that
expressing thoughts and feelings is part of the healing process. We offer
an opportunity for sharing and learning from other bereaved parents. We do
not offer professional psychotherapy or counseling. We seek the
cooperation and the support of the professional community but do not
depend on it for supervision or formal guidance. We welcome the
opportunity to share with the professional community what we have learned about
the needs of bereaved parents.
TCF reaches out to all bereaved parents across
barriers of religion, race, income or ethnic group. We espouse no specific
religious or philosophical ideology. We support our activities through voluntary
contributions and assess no dues or fees. We do not participate in
legislative or political controversy. We express our individual views on
controversial subjects with respect and consideration for those who may disagree
with us.
TCF understands that every bereaved parent has
individual needs and rights. We never suggest that there is a correct way to
grieve or that there is a preferred solution to the emotional and spiritual
dilemmas raised by the death of our children. Everyone deserves an
opportunity to be heard. No one is compelled to speak. All have the
responsibility to listen.
TCF helps bereaved parents primarily through
local chapters. We have established local chapters to provide sharing groups
that create an atmosphere of openness and honesty. We believe that local
chapters should be autonomous in all matters except those affecting other
chapters or the organization as a whole. We believe that chapters succeed most
frequently if there are three or more founders, at least two of whom are a year
or more from their loss and including at least one father and one mother.
TCF chapters belong to their members. We
treat what is said at meetings as confidential and what we learn about
each other as privileged information. We recommend that attendance at meetings
by the media, by students, or by other observers be permitted only with
prior announcements and with the consent of the chapter members. We
realize that some time must be spent on organizational problems and
financial matters but we prefer to keep this to a minimum and out of the
regularly scheduled TCF meetings.
TCF
chapters are coordinated nationally to extend help to each other and to
individual bereaved parents everywhere. We maintain a national office to
serve us by assisting in the
development of new chapters, by offering support and consultation to
existing chapters, and by responding to bereaved parents where there is no
local chapter. We have learned that it is often easier and more effective to
provide program material and educational services by working together at
the national or regional level than to work alone. We seek opportunities
to share with society the insights our grief has brought us that future
bereaved parents may receive needed understanding and support. We encourage
other family members, especially siblings, to share in our task of mutual
support. We acknowledge our responsibility to support our local and national
goals by contributing what we can of our time, our talent, and our
resources.
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